Advice for Moving In with a Partner
If you follow me on Instagram, or read my last post,you know that I recently moved to the Madison, Wisconsin area with my boyfriend. He has lived here for 3 years & with losing my job it felt like the perfect time to relocate. Plus, it’s the natural next step in our relationship. I’ve always daydreamed about the day I’d move in with him. But, that day came a lot sooner than I was planning. I had constant anxiety about the dreaded moving day.
Naturally, I turned to the best resources out there: my followers. I took to Instagram stories to talk about my moving concerns. To me, moving in with my significant other felt way more complicated than it really is. I received so many positive and helpful responses that I wanted to put them in a more permanent place for others to access. You can check out all the advice on my Instagram highlights, or you can save this post for when you need it.
I am officially moved in and things are going swimmingly so far. I love living with someone who isn’t afraid of spiders, and cleans up the kitchen after I make a mess cooking dinner. Having constant company is cool too I guess…for now.
Communication is Key
This was the most popular response to my concerns. While it seems simple and straightforward, it can be challenging. Let me tell you, I really had to tap into my weaknesses when bracing for the move. I do not communicate my feelings well. I’m queen of hiding how I feel, letting emotions bottle up, and exploding at seemingly nothing. I always talk myself out of how I feel in the moment and hate being a nag. In conclusion, tough communication is my weakness.
To help with this I had Scott and myself make lists of our expectations for one another. We had one big conversation about pet peeves, expectations, and goals for living together. Now, instead of making it a big thing when someone forgets what we talked about, it’s just a gentle reminder. We plan on doing this same type of exercise for chores as well, but I’m only a week into being a full time roommate.
Me Time is Good
I’m a very independent person who loves being alone. Being an introvert means that I feel recharged by being by myself. When moving in together I felt that my independence was being taken away. However, that is not the case at all. I still get plenty of time to do what I want, especially since Scott is still working. Right now my time is taken up with decorating, organizing, and cleaning the house, so at night I love relaxing and watching Master Chef together.
I’m very lucky to be in a relationship with someone who is so understanding. He doesn’t take it personally when I need a few hours to myself. I’m sure he appreciates some quiet time away from me too! As we continue on this journey I’ve made our guest room my oasis. It has all my furniture from my apartment in it, tons of natural light, and a tv. I know there will be days or nights when I retreat to that space to watch Selling Sunset and drink some wine.
Embrace Change and Differences
Speaking of another weakness of mine, I always feel that people should do as I do, or give as much as I give. That mindset has failed me in relationships and friendships. To give you an idea of the type of person I am, I’m a Virgo and an enneagram 2. For those of you who think I’m speaking a different language it means I’m type A, organized, and am always there for those I love. Living with any roommate there will be differences in cleaning technique or what you think “organized” is. However, those shouldn’t be seen as weaknesses.
It helps to really know your partner or roommate so that you can play to their strengths. Having that initial expectations conversation covered this as well. My number one expectation is to live in a clean, organized, and decluttered environment. That is totally my strength, but I also expect us to see our friends and be social (safely, of course #COVID). That is definitely Scott’s strength.
Bottom line is there’s no reason to be afraid of moving in with your partner. I’m so happy I had that anxiety so that I could really reflect on that feeling. I found that my insecurities were more about myself than Scott. Like I said, the move went seamlessly and we are enjoying sharing a house and spending time together. I can’t wait to share more of the move & remixing the house in a couple weeks!
